caught in the undertow...

what is there to write about? so many things i suppose. i am deeply saddened by recent events in my life. i had to put one of my cats to sleep, and it was the most horrible decision i have had to make in my adult life. my little lovely had F.I.P. (feline infectious peritonitis). it is a pretty rare virus, and it caused fluid to accumulate in the plural spaces around his lungs. he was perfectly healthy up until he passed away. it's been very hard for me to deal with his loss because it was very sudden and unexpected. i had taken him to the vet 5 months prior to his death, and he seemed to recover so well. i am just absolutely heart broken. i have 2 other cats, and i love them both, but there was something so special about Zooey. it's hard to walk into my apartment and not have his little face there to greet me, and it's really hard to go to sleep without him curled up on my chest. i never thought i could love something so much. when i think about him, such as right now i feel a heaviness in my chest.

i'm just taking small steps. day to day. i'm very thankful for my other 2 lovelies. Dio, and Franny are wonderful little creatures and i have so much love for them. we're all just trying to get used to a house without Zooey.

i don't think i ever will....


fin.